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no noise bros​!​!​! (only positive energy) [digital bloomer mix]

by certain lives

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1.
are you ready!?! 01:22
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2.
i heard. . . 00:52
lyrics
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i heard your igs popping off you take so many photos i forgot you make music i heard you got a single on a spotify playlist congrats!!!! maybe you can buy a cup of coffee i heard you only play the coolest parties full of industry goblins, trust fund kids, and crypto ghouls i don't know if i'd go. . . but if you invited me i'd probably smoke outside and just say i didn't know who was playing anyway i heard your a dj now you're a meme page now you're on substack now you're a model now i saw your write-up you're really in your bag be careful not to fly away i heard redbull gives you wings i heard you're in an indie sleaze band now i heard you do it for the community but i really don't know what that means could you clarify who profits off this scheme? could you clarify who profits off this scene?
3.
my attempt at a gabber song (but i'm not patient enough to make the song longer) 01:55
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4.
no noise bros!!!!! 01:12
lyrics
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i wanted you to love me but i didn't love myself so i smoked half an oz and fell asleep alone may 2019 up on the roof cans clung to my feeble frame i was so aloof deli girls's mosh pits my body stretched before me in fury of kicks and collisions that carried a trace of another way to be but i'd just smoked half an oz so i thrashed around alone now the noise bros crowd kill my dreams of expressive place of queer intimacy where bruises comfort more than any touch ever did for me another wall of noise another tough guy another confessional diatribe all of mine are alike but i'm growing tired of how enough death grips fans in one place make this scene feel like its a hellscape touch me without grabbing me hit me anyway you please but please have enough common decency to think about how everyone wants to jump around and feel seen i believed great art came from suffering but that just left me with a scar on my left leg and depressive tendencies noise is not pain expression doesn't cure depression a place for queers, women, and the anorexic in the mosh pit is all i'm asking because being held is more harmful when you don't love yourself than being lost in the motion of becoming yourself i wanted you to love me but i didn't love myself so i smoked half an oz and fell asleep alone
5.
you won't find love at the club : ( 02:02
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about

these songs were written to trace a change within myself and within the scenes i frequent. "noise music" is an empty center, a term applied after the fact to categorize forms of expression that resist easy genre classification. this is where noise resonates with queerness as commitments to escape recognizable forms thrust upon art and existence.

recognition--the act of being acknowledged as something by someone else--is a trap. when one's self-worth is conditional on the recognition of another, sadness is inevitable. there will always exist a gap between how one sees themself and how others understand them. this gap is where i find myself within the noise music scene. i no longer make music heinous enough to brood with harsh noizos; my music's never been catchy or groovy enough for industrial dance noizos; i've been gatekept out of punk for either using electronics or for being too pretentious.

during those lonely long stretches working on music, the desire to be recognized by any of these communities haunts me. like noise and queerness, desire is also an empty center. the feeling of desire is not an internal emotion, but instead a craving to be desired by another. in being the object of desire, we are recognized. we become a fantasy that exceeds the limitations of ourselves.

these songs move between noise, dance, and punk. they are short outbursts, cramped with digressions and non-starts. the lyrical tracks "i heard. . ." and "no noise bros!!!!!" are criticisms of elements of nyc's experimental electronic scene, but also exercises in self-criticism. the former tracks how musicians have to become influencers, prioritizing chasing clout over building community. but, it is also about how i can't stop obsessing over these same things i criticize as i desire that same recognition that clout affords. the latter criticizes the noise scene, specifically the influx of tough guys invested in spreading hardcore's macho attitude within the scene. things felt different to me when i used to go to shows at the glove, where being in a mosh pit was a place where i felt held even though i wanted no one to touch me after the show ended. this is the change in the scene i most dislike. when i was at my thinnest and most unhealthy, i still felt comfortable bouncing around with people of all different sizes and genders. now the noise bros crowd kill my dreams.

self-recognition is the only way to self-fulfillment. easier said than done.

credits

released July 12, 2022

all songs written and produced by certain lives [except track 5 which contains some pretty obvious samples :P ]

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certain lives New York, New York

soft noise

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